


Hawak Bitaw

by cosmicsray



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mentioned Bokuto Koutarou, Mentioned Hinata Shouyou, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, Mentioned Oikawa Tooru, implied oikuroo, taglish
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26270017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicsray/pseuds/cosmicsray
Summary: Katipunan. Bar. Exes.“Then let go, Sakusa,”Atsumu said breathily. Sakusa couldn’t think straight as he witnessed, for the second time, Atsumu’s weakness.“Bitaw na.”
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Hawak Bitaw

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i’m very sorry if there are some typographical errors and all that stuff. please forgive me i just want to write again aaaah. AND this fic is eng/fil or taglish HEHEHE most of the dialogues are in filipino.
> 
> i would also like to dedicate this to my twin, bree, you know who you are. ily 
> 
> listen to hawak bitaw (demo) by laluna for more feels lmao

_“Hawak kamay naglalakbay patungo sa ating inaasahang pagbitaw  
Magkatingin na may lihim  
Naghihintay na may magsabing  
Ayoko na.”_

It was already one in the morning, but the bar was still full. Very full of different kinds of people, but half of it is definitely youngsters. The fact that it was also a Friday in Katipunan helps to prove it. 

But this bar is different. It’s not the kind of bar with blasting music and disco lights. It houses amateur bands to have gigs and show their talents to the crowd. Atsumu just didn’t expect to see **him** up on the stage. 

Miya Atsumu can’t help but stare. Stare as he sees a ghost from the past. 

He continues to gaze at the band’s bassist, strumming melodies and sounds with closed eyes. Atsumu felt nothing but he’s in a drama as the band’s vocalist continues to sing lyrics that he never would’ve thought to make him feel things. 

_“Kaya sige pa dahan-dahan mo na_

_Akong layuan unti-unti kong mararamdaman..”_

Atsumu blinked, heart slowly clenching. You know why? He realized how much the lyrics relate to him. To them.

_“Alam natin san to papunta wag na nating patagalin pa_

_Kung san man tayo kanina umuwi nalang kaya..”_

One day, he opened his eyes and realized how they are drifting apart from each other, every minute, every second. He knows it too well that they’ll just part ways in the end.

But is it bad that he hoped for the better a little too much? 

“Salamat po. Salamat sa mga nakinig, sana makita ulit namin kayo sa susunod na gig!” Hinata, the band vocalist, said with enthusiasm. 

Nagising bigla si Atsumu. He spaced out a little too long and he didn’t notice the song had already ended. He quickly glanced to the bassist.

“Sakusa…” He whispered, a little too silent he felt the roughness of his throat because of too much alcohol. 

Isang tingin lang. Please. 

Atsumu secretly wished, and it didn’t really age well. Isang daan lang ng tingin ni Sakusa, hindi niya na kinaya. He almost dropped the glass he was holding. Masama bang hilingin niyang malaman niyang nandito siya? 

Sakusa didn’t look at him very long, as the masked man proceeded to take off his guitar and went down the stage with his bandmates. 

“Huy, lasing ka na ba?” Isang sapak lang ni Kuroo nagising na siya sa katotohanan. He turned his head quickly.

“Luh? Hindi pa ‘no. Strong gaming ako, tanga.” 

Kuroo scoffed at him loudly. Atsumu shook his head lightly, trying to get back to his senses. He almost forgot about his friends. He came here with his friends to forget the stress caused by their final exams. 

He didn’t know he’d be much more stressed here. 

Atsumu tried to look through the crowd to find Sakusa. No sign. Lalabas ba ako? Susundan ko ba siya? Nasaan siya? These are all the things running through his head right now.

“Hoy, Atsumu, ano ba? Drunk na yata talaga ‘to.” 

Napalingon ulit siya dahil sa pagtawag naman ngayon ni Oikawa. Umiling lang si Atsumu at nakitawa. His friends know he’s acting a little too weird. 

Atsumu thought, kilala nila si Sakusa. Hindi ba nila nakita? Hindi na dapat sila nagtataka kung nagkakaganito siya. He hasn’t seen him for 2 years.

2 years.

“Sabi ko, may natitipuhan ka ba dito? I’m willing to be your wingman.” Oikawa winked, causing Atsumu to cringe a little bit. 

“Wala. Ang papangit.” 

Tooru rolled his eyes, diverting his attention all to Kuroo. Kuroo raised an eyebrow, still holding his drink and Tooru only smirked, bottoms up-ed his drink and moved closer to the taller man. 

Atsumu felt like he’s not supposed to be there. 

“Labas lang ako.” 

His two friends nodded without looking at him. He sighed and shook his head, knowing what will happen after he leaves the two alone. 

The sounds from the bar slowly faded as he walked outside of the bar. Atsumu can still see the moon. It was a full one, shining brightly when it’s already 1:30 in the morning. Yeah, it’s not close to sunrise yet. 

Atsumu felt little pain on his chest but at the same time, he feels peace now. Going outside of the crowded bar helped, he thought. 

As he was hugging himself (since he wasn’t wearing long-sleeved clothes), feeling the cold breeze of the city, the golden-haired boy heard footsteps from behind. Atsumu almost tripped. Sakusa Kiyoomi was the first thing he saw as he turned around. 

Kiyoomi’s wearing a black turtleneck, black jeans and his favorite Timberlands, with, of course, his black mask. He knows Atsumu was there. His feet just dragged him there. His feet know. But he will never admit that. 

He acted as if he was surprised to see Atsumu there. Atsumu reacted the same way, but more genuinely. His eyes widely looked at him as Sakusa gave him a cold stare. 

“Sakusa.” 

“Atsumu.” 

And then, awkward silence took over. Wala silang masabi. Speechless. It’s like everything is blank right now. Sakusa just stood beside him, not saying anything. Not even moving. 

“How’s life?” Sakusa asked, voice too hoarse as far as Atsumu remembers. 

“Buhay pa rin,” Atsumu answered casually. Tama naman siya.

“Very funny, huh?” Kiyoomi turned to him, hands inside both of his pockets. He still does this, Atsumu thought. 

Atsumu just nodded, trying to not speak too many words to avoid mistakes. He knows himself. And the more he talks to this man, the more he gets lost. 

Sakusa looked at him for a few seconds more after Atsumu looked away. Atsumu starts to feel the pain in his chest. 

He still loves him, really. And it hurts him to feel the man he loves to stare at him. After all two years, this is all he could ask for. But he didn’t expect it would hurt him this much. It was too much he could feel his heart throbbing. He could feel his heart would fall in his stomach if he continued to stand beside Kiyoomi. 

“Lungkot sa U.S.” 

Sakusa turned his head to Atsumu again. He looked at him with expecting eyes, wanting for him to reply. But Atsumu just stared at what’s in front of him – the road. 

“But I won’t be back again. I’m staying there for good,” He added, now expecting more from Atsumu. 

This made Atsumu’s head turn to him. 

Hindi na siya babalik? Bakit? Akala ko ba dalawang taon lang? 

Atsumu has too many questions in his head right now. But as the questions in his head getall piled up, his heart can’t hold it anymore. 

Simula noong nakita niya si Sakusa sa stage, his heart started to suppress all sort of feelings. Pero unti-unti lang naiipon lalo ngayon dahil sa mga sinasabi ni Sakusa ngayon.

“Why are you telling me this?” Atsumu tried to hide the shakiness of his voice as he spoke. 

“It just… It feels like I have to tell you.” 

Now, Sakusa sounds nervous. The way Atsumu looks at him right now is unusual. Tama bang sinabi niya pa?  
Tama bang kinausap niya pa ulit si Atsumu, who’s trying his best to forget him completely? 

“Bakit? Sana umalis ka na lang nang hindi sinasabi sa akin. What made you feel that you have the obligation to tell me?” Atsumu stood up straight, finally released himself from his self-hug.

Sakusa Kiyoomi now completely avoided Atsumu’s eyes. He can already sense the pain in his voice, what more if he looks directly to his eyes? 

Ang bobo mo, Sakusa. 

He repeated in his head. 

“Huh…Omi, did you ever think of my feelings? Kahit isang beses lang sa relasyon natin noon, naisip mo ba? Kasi, putang ina, hanggang ngayon, ang lakas mo pa rin manakit,” Atsumu added. 

Atsumu already reached his limits. It was too much already, and they both know it. Naramdaman na niyang tumulo ang luha niya, which he wiped away quickly, so Kiyoomi won’t see it. 

He tried to pull Sakusa’s arm so the man would face him. 

“Of course! Mahal kita, why would I not think of it? Ano ba?” Sakusa surprised Atsumu with his sudden change of tone. 

Kiyoomi faced him now. His forehead wrinkled as he furrowed his eyebrows. Atsumu almost got distracted by his moles peeking through his curly fringe. He’s never seen it for so long.

Atsumu didn’t reply back. He realized, this argument is pointless. In the end, he’s gonna get hurt and he’s gonna be left alone. 

He shook his head, turned his heels to go back inside the bar and tell his friends he’s going home. Kahit na alam niyang baka wala na sa loob sina Kuroo, he needs to get away from here as soon as possible.

“Wait, Atsumu. Sandali lang.” Kiyoomi gripped his wrist tightly, pulling him a bit closer to him.

“Ano?” His voice sounds tired and Sakusa knows it. 

“Is this really it?” 

Atsumu met his eyes and his heart clenched even more. Hindi na niya napigilan ang mga luha niya. It’s helpless. Hindi niya rin alam kung bakit, pero alam niya lang na sobrang sakit. Sakusa looked at Atsumu’s face, full of tears. Tears that he knows he definitely caused. 

Atsumu nodded. 

“Masyado na tayong malayo sa isa’t isa. Literal. Magkaiba na tayo ng mga plano. Yes, we may still love each other now. Pero kakayanin ba natin ulit? Because I don’t think so, Omi…” 

“Then tell me. Tell me now. Ayaw mo na. Say the words.” 

Sakusa’s grip got tighter. His heart throbbing fast, feeling the chest pain more as seconds pass by. Secretly, he wishes for Atsumu not to say it. 

And Atsumu shook his head lightly, feeling his tears slowly drying up on his cheeks. He dropped his head. Gusto niya si Sakusa ang magsabi. Galing mismo sa labi niya. 

“Ayaw mo? Because Atsumu, let’s end this the right way. We will never move on if we don’t.” 

“Puta, edi ikaw ang magsabi!” Bloodshot eyes pierced through him. Sakusa doesn’t want to do it. 

“Sige. Ayoko na. Ayan, ayoko na. Let’s stop this.” 

Atsumu has heard enough. He tried to get rid if Kiyoomi’s grip but it was too tight. He couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t breathe properly. 

“Then let go, Sakusa,” Atsumu said breathily. Sakusa couldn’t think straight as he witnessed, for the second time, Atsumu’s weakness. 

“Bitaw na.” 

These two words from Atsumu made Sakusa finally let go of him. Kiyoomi was speechless, lips parted, eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it. This is the last time he’s gonna see Atsumu. 

But before he even apologizes, Atsumu already ran away. No tears. His eyes were already out of it. Tumakbo lang siya sa loob para totoong magpaalam, pero hindi naman niya nahanap sina Oikawa dahil medyo maraming tao at nahihilo na siya. He hailed a taxi and went home. 

While Sakusa was called by his bandmate afterwards. Bokuto, the band’s drummer, finds it suspicious that Kiyoomi was spacing out they’re whole ride home.

The two both remember what happened as if it’s a fever dream. But they thought of it carefully, that maybe it was really for the better. To finally let go of it. 

As Kiyoomi finally lets go of Atsumu’s wrist, they’re both letting go of the pain that they’ll never give to each other again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading WTHHHH pls leave ur thoughts in the comments i’m not really sure if this would satisfy anyone as i don’t write that often anymore :( but yeah!!! THANK YOU i will continue to write


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